Dharma Sister Hua remembered the fine details of her dream. Her dream is a reflection of her strong ego grasping, and her clinging to her husband. So, as she was so concerned about her husband, she kept searching for him in her dreams. Let me tell you this, I had never thought about my wife and son in my dreams. We will have to cultivate till we break free from our sense of ego, even in our dreams, that there is nothing related to “me”, there is no wife of “mine”, child of “mine”, parents of "mine" and relatives of "mine" etc. When you have reached that level of attainment, you will stand a chance to succeed in your cultivation. If you continue to search for your spouses in your dreams, I think you are still very weak in your cultivation. You have to let go of all these relationships, otherwise they will continue to appear in your dreams frequently.
If your ego grasping is still very strong, you will still be very concerned about your name, your existence, your feelings and how others treat you. If you still insist that others must treat you in a certain way or you will feel offended, and end up harboring all the ill thoughts and succumbing to your negative emotions, then I think it will be very difficult for you to reach enlightenment in this lifetime.
Letting go of ego grasping is very crucial. The first lesson of cultivation is to let go of our ego grasping. I hope that you will learn to let go of your ego grasping, letting go of all things related to “I” and “mine”, only then you will stand a chance of setting yourself free from the cyclic existence. Let go of all things that are related to “I” and “mine”, including my body, my feelings, my possessions – let them go! Only then the seed of bodhicitta will grow in you.
I feel that we should, after so many years of cultivation, let go of our ego grasping. Otherwise, we will not be able to culminate the seed of bodhicitta in us. If bodhicitta does not grow within you, you will continue to be perturbed by all things related to “I” and “mine”; your cultivation will be fruitless. Despite your diligence in practicing the recitations, chanting, meditations, they are just useless activities. I hope all of you will take this seriously and learn to let go of ego grasping. First, let go of ego grasping, let go of the so-called pride, let go of all things related to “I” and “mine”, then you will get closer to enlightenment.