Dharma Sister Ling could not breathe during her sleep one night and later collapsed in her office, out of breath. She was sent to the hospital but the doctor could not explain her illness and could not prescribe any medication for her. She asked me for help. She became alright after my blessing and left the hospital when the doctor still could not figure out her problem.
There were many old folks, even those in their 40s and 50s, who died during their sleep due to breathing difficulty. So, when we get into our beds tonight, we may not get out of the bed tomorrow morning. There is no guarantee that you will still live the next moment. You will not know when your last moment will come.
Go ask Dharma Sister Ling, “What do you think about your job?” “Do you still want to care so much about your work? The work can never be finished.” “What about your son?” “What about your husband?” “What about your family?” I can tell you that she now wants nothing else but her next breath. All your dissatisfactions and arguments with others will become meaningless when you are in such a state.
A cultivator must learn to appreciate the “impermanence” in life. Only when one has personally experienced the impermanence in life that he will develop a sense of renunciation crucial to the success of cultivation. I think that 1 to 2 hours of suffering was too short for Dharma Sister Ling. I could have acted earlier but I tried to delay my help. If that duration when she was out of breath could be prolonged slightly, it would have benefitted her more. If that duration could be stretched to 2 weeks, it would have been better for her. Let her go through the sufferings in that 2 weeks, she would have felt more deeply about the impermanence in life. Why so? For I had personally gone through a similar stage: for a few months I could not sleep at night because the very moment I lied down, I could not breathe at all. After that long period of ordeal, I appreciate my life better now. I no longer place hope on worldly matters: love, hatred, children, wife etc. For this remaining lifetime of mine, I will cultivate until I reach the stage where I can draw my last breath with ease. I had gone through that crisis stage in life.
Why did the ancient folks say that a cultivator must go through a big crisis in his life? For he will attain enlightenment only after going through that crisis in life. If you have not gone through a big crisis in life, you will continue to feel attached to the worldly matters and be stranded in the cyclic existence forever. So what if you are given the whole world? When you cannot even draw your next breath, the rest are just an illusion to you. Had Dharma Sister Ling been able to remain in that ordeal for a longer period, she would have developed a deeper appreciation of impermanence, and a stronger sense of renunciation. Only then she would have understood the meaning of this verse:
Knowing this world is a dream,
I ask for nothing.
As I ask for nothing,
My mind is free.
Nevertheless,
I will continue to live in this dream,
And accomplish the countless merits,
Which are also but a dream.
She would have then understood that this world is actually a dream and she would therefore ask for nothing. She would have then understood that this world is only a dream, including all of us who are sitting right here which is part of the dream too. It is a dream that will disappear immediately when one wakes up from it: your wife, your kids are actually not yours. Let me tell you this, very soon, all of them will just vanish. You don’t have to chase after them, because you will not be able to chase after them. This world is just a big dream. When you realize that it is a dream, you will then ask for nothing.
What do I mean by “asking for nothing”? Just sit there and do nothing, like the statue of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas? No! We should continue to live our lives, knowing full well that they are just dream, dream, dream…… We will continue to work, continue to take care of our kids, but our mind is not attached to all these phenomena which are transient. You will be seen by others as a lunatic, who has a very different view from others. You will appear to be living life the same way like others that, you will need to eat, you will have stomach ache at times, and you will need to go to the toilet. You will appear to be acting and behaving like any other person around you, but your mentality is no longer the same like others, and your views are just different.
Dharma Sister Ling has not developed a deep sense of impermanence from the ordeal she went through yet; a deeper appreciation would have helped her attain a higher level of realization.
Cultivation should be the highest priority in life. All else should be of secondary importance. Cultivation is the most crucial thing in life. If you have not developed that sense of priority, your mood is still very much influenced by the worldly concerns, you will then continue to live and die in this cyclic existence perpetually. You will continue to be reborn in a cyclic existence even after this earth has been destroyed and disappeared. You will then continue to live and die after the earth was formed once again. If you like it that way, I will leave it to you.
The sense of impermanence is very crucial. The most important thing in life is for one to develop a strong sense of impermanence; other things in life will pale in comparison. If you only treat cultivation as a secondary priority in life, cultivating for a better prospect for your career or your family, you are just turning to cultivation for a worldly purpose, then you are not a true cultivator and you will not be able to end your cyclic existence.
Dharma Sister Ling has helped us appreciate more of the impermanence in life. If you find your life very interesting today, then you will want to ask for more tomorrow. If you treat your current day as your last day in life, you will appreciate everyday and every moment of your life. Everyday I am telling myself that this will probably be my last day. When I wake up on the following day, I will feel very thankful that I am still breathing and that I have earned one more day. We should still view this life as a dream and all happenings in our life as dreams: going to office is a dream, work and kids are dreams etc. Cultivation is the most crucial thing in life. Compassion is the most crucial thing in life. Do not let our mind run wild. No matter how ill you have treated me, I will remain compassionate towards you, for the Buddhas and Boddhisattvas only aspire to help the sentient beings perpetually.
I wish that you would practice with vigou and perseverance. Free yourself from the fetter of the cyclic existence, and then you would be able to help other sentient beings do likewise.
